Life on the earth as we know it commenced on 15th January 1971 at 2.40pm.

The exact centre of the universe is located 10cm behind my nose.

I am not going to tell you that I live in Australia or else all you from interplanet will say "yeah, chuck us another prawn on the barbie mate!" or similarly stupid.

*burp*

I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.

I think there should be something in science called the "reindeer effect". I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect."